Liberals Learn German to Fight Fascist National Language Proposal

Liberals across the country are filling classrooms to learn German as a second language in hopes of making it their first. The uptick in people seeking German classes is explained by the introduction of the "English Language Unity Act of 2025" in the House by Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene.

The bill, which seeks to designate English as the official national language, has sparked a wave of progressive backlash over the past month, with activists claiming it threatens the fabric of a multilingual America.

Democratic strategist Lisa Monroe told reporters, "If they want to force English on us, we’ll just speak German instead. It’s the ultimate resistance."

Enrollment in German language courses has surged by 43% since the bill’s announcement, according to data from the Washington Wick Language Learning Institute. Critics argue the move is less about practicality and more about sticking it to the proposal’s supporters.

The English Language Unity Act aims to streamline government operations by mandating English in all federal documentation. Supporters say it’s a common-sense measure to unify communication, but opponents have seized on it as a rallying cry for cultural defiance.

"German is the language of free thinkers like Kant, Goethe, Marx," said Portland resident and self-described activist Juniper Ellis. "If they’re scared of that, they should be."

Greene’s bill has cleared its first committee hurdle as of March 18, gaining traction among conservatives who see it as a win for national identity. Meanwhile, social media is flooded with videos of liberals practicing guttural consonants and umlauts, often with captions decrying the legislation.

"This isn’t about communication; it’s about control," said linguistics professor Dr. Harold Voss of UC Berkeley. "Learning German is a way to reclaim autonomy in the face of linguistic fascism."

The irony of choosing German—a language tied to historical authoritarianism—to protest an alleged fascist agenda isn’t lost on observers, though it’s rarely acknowledged by the learners themselves.

Bookstores report a spike in sales of Adolf Hitler's "Mein Kampf," with some even hosting emergency book clubs to review and understand the material.

"We’re not just learning a language; we’re building a movement," said Chicago community organizer Mateo Ruiz. "Let them try to figure out what we’re saying."

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